In every workplace, there lurks a creature so fearsome, so notorious, that its presence can make even the most resilient employees tremble with dread: the asshole manager. Fear not, dear reader, for in this uproarious guide, we will navigate the treacherous waters of dealing with this notorious species. From clever comebacks to sneaky strategies, prepare to laugh your way through the trials and tribulations of surviving an asshole manager at work.
Embrace the Comedy:
When faced with an asshole manager, one of the best weapons in your arsenal is humor. Laugh at their absurdity, their overblown ego, and their knack for turning even the simplest tasks into epic melodramas. Remember, laughter is the best medicine, especially when it comes to dealing with difficult personalities. Just make sure you save your belly laughs for the water cooler, or your boss might mistake your amusement for insanity.
Channel Your Inner Zen Master:
Asshole managers thrive on chaos and negativity. Drama queens. So, counter their venomous barbs with the calm of a Zen master. Picture yourself as a serene lake, unaffected by the stormy winds of their obnoxiousness. Practice deep breathing exercises to maintain your tranquility, and remember that their outrageous behavior says more about them than it does about you. Find your inner peace, and watch as their tantrums become as futile as a hamster running on a wheel. Ignore their tantrums for attention and significance. They may be trying to be bossy, because sometimes they don’t get to be that boss at home. Who knows?
Master the Art of the Tactical Eye Roll:
Ah, the eye roll, the universal language of exasperation. When your asshole manager spouts another absurd request or delivers yet another unnecessary criticism, the tactical eye roll comes to the rescue. Execute this move with surgical precision, ensuring that it remains undetected by your boss. Do it for the sigh of relief and not for attention. It’s the perfect way to express your disdain without getting caught in the crossfire of their wrath. Just be careful not to sprain an eyeball in the process.
Secretly Build Your Support Network:
Dealing with an asshole manager is always easier with a support network. Discreetly seek out colleagues who share your plight and form a covert alliance against the tyranny of your boss. Exchange funny anecdotes, swap survival tips, and revel in the camaraderie that comes from surviving the absurd together. Remember, laughter is contagious, and there’s strength in numbers.
Exit Strategies: The Art of Escape:
If all else fails, and the antics of your asshole manager become unbearable, it may be time to consider an exit strategy. Begin by updating your resume, subtly reaching out to your network, and exploring new opportunities. With every rejection you receive, visualize it as a hilarious twist in your grand adventure of finding a workplace free from assholery. Who knows, your next job might just be filled with supportive colleagues, unicorns, and unlimited snacks. Okay, maybe not the unicorns, but one can dream, right?
While dealing with an asshole manager can be as entertaining as a slapstick comedy, it’s essential to remember that your happiness and well-being should always be a priority. Use humor as your shield, seek solace in the support of your fellow sufferers, and, if necessary, plan your great escape. Just remember, the true victory lies not in stooping to their level, but in rising above it with grace, dignity, and a good dose of laughter.
I have trained many organisations to overcome “the dysfunctions of a team” and develop leaders who are likeable and competent at their work. Learn more about how I can add value to your business. Click here.