Leadership. It’s that elusive quality that makes people willingly walk into battle—or boardrooms—on your word alone. For decades, this phenomenon has been mystified, romanticized, and often misunderstood. But let me be clear: leadership is not an inherited superpower—it’s a craft, a discipline, a skill that anyone can learn.
I’ve had the privilege of delivering leadership keynotes to CXOs and senior management teams across the world—from multinational boardrooms in Singapore to leadership retreats in Goa. And the most common myth I encounter is this: “Leaders are born, not made.” Let me tell you why that belief is outdated—and more importantly, why it’s dangerous.
Leadership, like music, language, or chess, can be learned. Sure, some people may be born with charisma, but leadership is not charisma. Leadership is action, behaviour, and influence—and every one of those is learnable.
What Makes Leadership a Learnable Skill?
Let’s think of leadership like baking a cake. You don’t need to be a Michelin-star chef to make a delicious cake. You need ingredients, a method, practice, and maybe a few burnt attempts. Leadership works the same way.
The “ingredients” of leadership—communication, emotional intelligence, decision-making, delegation, conflict resolution—are all teachable. And just like a good recipe, you refine your method over time.
In my workshops, I often ask leaders to think back to the worst boss they ever had—and then list why. Almost every reason ties back to a skill that could’ve been learned or improved: poor listening, lack of empathy, micromanagement. These are not character flaws—they’re correctable behaviours.
Aren’t Some People Just “Born Leaders”?
It’s tempting to look at figures like Steve Jobs or Oprah Winfrey and think they were born to lead. But scratch beneath the surface, and you’ll find relentless learners who honed their leadership through trials, errors, and reinvention.
Steve Jobs, in his early leadership years at Apple, was known for being abrasive. It wasn’t until his second innings at Apple that he began to blend vision with empathy, clarity with collaboration—traits he had to develop over time.
Leadership isn’t a personality type. It’s a behavioural pattern, and that’s great news. Because behaviours can change.
What Are the Core Skills That Make Up Great Leadership?
Let’s break down the essential building blocks of leadership. These are the “muscles” you can train like going to the gym:
- Self-awareness – Understand your triggers, values, and blind spots.
- Empathy – Connect with people beyond the role they play.
- Strategic Communication – Speak so others not only listen but act.
- Decisiveness under Pressure – Know when to pause and when to charge.
- Vision Crafting – Paint a picture of tomorrow that others want to be part of.
- Servant Mindset – Leadership is service, not status.
These are not personality traits—they are skills. And the more you practice them, the more natural they become.
Isn’t Changing Leadership Behaviour Difficult?
Yes. Changing behaviour is hard. But so is staying stuck.
Changing leadership behaviour is like convincing a cat to take a bath—possible, but requires patience. You’re rewiring old patterns, shifting from reactive mode to responsive leadership. That doesn’t happen overnight. But it happens.
In my coaching work, I help leaders make small behavioural tweaks—things like active listening in meetings, recognizing team wins more publicly, or framing feedback with compassion. These may seem small, but they have a compound effect over time.
Do You Need to Be Extroverted or Charismatic to Lead?
Absolutely not.
In fact, some of the most respected leaders I’ve worked with are introverts. They lead through presence, thoughtfulness, and consistency—not through volume. Leadership isn’t about how loud you are; it’s about how deeply you resonate.
Susan Cain, author of Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, argues that introverted leaders often outperform extroverts, especially when leading proactive teams. Why? Because they listen more, speak less, and empower others.
So if you’ve ever said, “I’m too shy to be a leader,” know this: shyness isn’t a disqualifier—it’s a gift, if you learn to wield it.
What’s the First Step to Becoming a Better Leader?
Start where you are.
Leadership development is like learning to drive. At first, you’re overwhelmed by the controls. But with guidance, feedback, and enough practice, it becomes second nature.
Start by reflecting on these questions:
- How do I make people feel when I speak?
- Do I inspire action or just assign tasks?
- Am I open to feedback, or do I defend my ego?
- How often do I take time to listen—really listen?
From there, seek feedback, mentorship, or even formal training. Read books. Watch TED Talks. Attend workshops. Practice in low-risk environments.
So, Can You Become a Leader?
Let me ask you this: Can you commit to learning? Can you be open to feedback? Can you practice, reflect, and refine?
If yes, then yes—you can become a leader.
Leadership is not about having all the answers. It’s about being the one who’s willing to grow, to take responsibility, and to lift others along the way. That’s what makes people follow you—not your title, but your intention.
Final Thoughts: Leadership Is a Daily Practice, Not a Destination
If there’s one message I want to leave you with, it’s this: Leadership is for everyone. Not everyone wants to become a CEO or run a Fortune 500 company. But everyone will, at some point, be called to lead—be it at work, in the family, in the community, or even in their own life decisions.
And when that call comes, will you be ready?
Not by accident. But by practice.
Suggested Reading
High-Performance Leadership by Paul Robinson
Leaders Eat Last by Simon Sinek
The Five Dysfunctions of a Team by Patrick Lencioni
Quiet by Susan Cain
